He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
