Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
