I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I need help removing her.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
