why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
