he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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