I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
