So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
