in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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