No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
