I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
