I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
