I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
