I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
