Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
did i just pee glitter
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
