there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
