My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Pants are for mortals
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My feet surprised me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
