maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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