If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
