I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
