those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
