Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
