I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
