miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How external is "for external use only"?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
