he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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