You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
