Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
