Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I need water and some morals
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
