Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
