Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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