i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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