I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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