i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
