I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
