So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I checked into jail on foursquare
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
