I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
