Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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