okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
