you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
