You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
