apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
