so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
