There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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