imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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