I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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