I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
