she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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