wrigley field is MILF paradise
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My cat gives me a boner
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
