i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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