I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
