No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
